LIVING WITH MCL

If there's one thing I've gained from this entire ordeal, it's a much greater appreciation for the trials and tribulations of drug addicts. For me it's been just over 4 days since my last Oxycodon, after only being on it for around 2 months, but the desire to take another pill still exists. While the severity of the symptoms of Oxycodon withdrawal I've been experiencing, i.e. abdominal cramps, chills, body aches, runny nose, etc. have subsided some, they have not gone away yet. And while some of that may be psychosomatic, it's still not hard for me to imagine how difficult it must be for someone addicted for a much longer period of time, or on a greater quantity to kick the habit. I even have a new found sympathy for Rush Limbaugh. It's not that the Oxycodon was so instrumental in relieving the tightness and discomfort in my chest, because it wasn't. [Although I'm starting to have some doubts.] It was because the Oxycodon provided a feeling of well ...

That's how long I've been off the Oxycodon, and while the pain is not intolerable, I know I could be feeling a lot better right now after just one 5 mg tablet. My concern is I don't want to become addicted, which is a huge fear I have (there's even an Oxycodon addiction website  I just came across with counselors ready to talk), nor experience any of the myriad of side effects associated with this drug, but neither do I want to feel uncomfortable all the time. It's been 7 weeks, and I am making progress. I've managed to get the dose down to 2 to 3 per day, from the 5 to 6 per day I was taking the Oxycodon about a month ago, but I'm wondering if it is normal to still be needing it. Shouldn't I start seeing some more improvement by now? So in an attempt to avoid, or at least delay taking another Oxycodon, I thought I would just vent a little here, in the hope someone, besides the countless number of spammers who have been inundating me with spam comments l...

No matter how much I may want it, I can't will the pain in my chest away. But the thought of the pain continuing on, regardless of the length of time, and the continuing need to take Oxycodon has been weighing on me ever since I left the hospital, so I keep trying. I keep trying to extend the time between doses of Oxycodon. If I don't, how will I know if I'm making progress? The other day, I managed to go 13 hours between doses. I even thought I was making progress. After each passing hour, from the previous dose, I kept telling myself the discomfort [pain] wasn't that bad, but I was only fooling myself. It wasn't until after the 13th hour, when I finally relented, and took an Oxycodon, that I realized just how much pain I was truly in. The relief the Oxycodon provided was unmistakeable. It was like the weight of the world was lifted from my chest. Why did it take me so long to realize that? Ever since my diagnosis, I have been resistant to the taking of medications...

I must be getting better, because I'm ahead of my scheduled physical therapy. I'm able to walk for 12 minutes at a time, 3 times a day, covering more than a half mile each time. My schedule has me at only 10 minutes, 3 times a day. More importantly, I know I can do more. I'm just hesitant to progress too fast for fear of over doing it. The pain in my chest is also dissipating, albeit not as fast as I would like, and it isn't so much the pain anymore that is so bothersome, but rather the heaviness in my chest that is persisting. I've cut my Oxycodon down to once every 4 hours from every 3 hours, and was even able to go to the bathroom today without taking a stool softener (I still had to take a laxative), which I am attributing to skipping my midnight Oxycodon. But most notably, I know I must be getting better, as my appetite has returned. I actually went back for seconds last night, something I haven't done since I got home from the hospital. I haven't gaine...

Had a good visit with my cardiac surgeon and his assistant yesterday. They both thought I was doing good, and gave me an upbeat prognosis. All my stitches were removed, and I was told it was OK to stop taking the Furosemide , Tamsulosin , and even the vitamin C, which the surgeon is very big on. The bad news was the physician assistant told me my pain would likely last another 4 to 6 weeks. Something I didn't anticipate hearing, but at least she refilled my prescription of Oxycodon for another 23 days (based on my current intake of 1 pill every 3 hours). Hopefully that won't be an issue, and I can extend the time as I attempt to wean myself off it. I was also told I could walk upstairs, and not worry about exceeding my current heart rate by 20 bpm. In fact, he couldn't understand why I was told that. So this morning I went for a 10 minute walk, and my heart rate never exceeded 80 bpm. I guess I'm going to have to lift the intensity just a little, that is as I feel comfo...

If you read my last comment to my previous post, you already know I've gone back on the pain meds. I didn't think I really had any choice. Yeah, I could tolerate the pain (with some effort), but my heart rate was from 5 to 10 beats higher, than it had been, and it was more difficult breathing. Two things I thought not wise to continue. I have, however, changed my dosing to one 5 mg Oxycodon every three hours, instead of every 4 hours plus one 325 mg Tylenol. And yes, I know that is an increase over my previous regimen, and considering my previous post, something I have no logical explanation for, except that it serves to point out just how trying and screwed up this whole ordeal has been for me. It's just a good thing I have an appointment with the Cardiologist this afternoon to discuss my progress, and my meds which I am quickly running out of.