LIVING WITH MCL

Are there really things that we have no control over in our lives? Is our destiny preordained, and no matter what any of us do, the outcome will be the same? I've always been a believer in that, in fate. I've always believed our lives are preordained, and everything happens for a reason. It's just after everything that has happened over these past few months [and years] I'm beginning to wonder. What possible reason could there be for me to have contracted MCL, and lived with it untreated for the past 12+ years?  Is there a greater purpose I am [was] to pursue, that I missed. It certainly can't be writing this blog, although I would like to think I've help at least one person. And what about Edie? What possible reason could there be for her to have died, and left me alone? To make me appreciate her more, and the many things she did, some of which I may have taken for granted. The thing is, she didn't have to die for me to come to that realization. S...

I finally received the work release from my personal doctor in the mail today, and I took it to the company I was planning on going to work for. As it turned out that wasn't the proper procedure. I was supposed to provide it to the clinic where I had my preemployment physical, so they could review it, and give their blessing. OK fine! I wasn't happy about it, but reluctantly I did so. I drove back to the clinic, and handed the release form to the receptionist, explaining the situation. She reviewed it, and got my records, after which she made some comments, which I bearly paid attention to. What I did get from her comments was she would give it to the doctor, but there would be about a 90 minute wait. I asked her if I needed another physical, and she said no. I didn't see any point in sitting in that germ infested room with 25+ other people, when I didn't need to, so I left the paperwork with the receptionist, expecting her to give it to the doctor, and then send the ap...

I've never complained much, at least not about my station in life. Of course, I have been luckier than most. I've always managed to come out ahead of the game, even when obstacles have been put in my way. Managing to survive a rather aggressive form of lymphoma, for more than 10 years, without experiencing many of the ill effects most other experience, could definitely be considered one of those obstacles. Now whether that's just been pure dumb luck, or some innate ability of mine to make well informed decisions, is debatable, but as an avid believer in fate, my vote would tend to go to the former. Something that has become even more evident as of late, as it seems my luck is starting to run out. First is was the basal cell carcinoma, then bibasilar atelectsis, and now most recently, angina, all of which are starting to take their toll on me. It's something I just wasn't expecting. Sure I've always known I was going to die [eventually]. Everybody does. I even re...