LIVING WITH MCL

It's been about a month now, and the only thing I know for sure, it isn't getting any easier. At first I thought it was the mornings that were the worst. Then it was the evenings, but it turns out, it doesn't matter what time of day it is, it's realizing Edie isn't around anymore that's so hard. I'm just having a difficult time coming to grips with that fact. We were together nearly 40 years, and then suddenly she's gone. How can someone be here one minute, and then be gone the next? Even knowing it was coming for awhile, I still wasn't prepared. It's just all way too final, and I'm not coping well. I haven't been eating well. I've been losing weight I can't afford to lose, and on top of that, two weeks ago, I got a case of the shingles (or so they say), which has taken a particular toll on me physically, including the loss of more weight. I'm even beginning to understand how some individuals can so easily become v...

Well, I had to wait 5 weeks, but I finally had the cataract in my right eye removed. The surgery didn't seem to go as smoothly as the the surgery on my left eye though. I had a little more discomfort after surgery, and my vision doesn't seem as good in the right eye, although I checked 20/25 in both eyes when I went to see the doctor for my follow up appointment the next day, and things are improving. Not sure what I was expecting, as it's still a 10 fold improvement over what I had been experiencing, so I'm not complaining to profusely. It's hard to believe I went as long as I did without surgery. It's like I had been seeing everything in standard definition (SD) all this time, and now I'm viewing everything in HD (high definition). There's still about 2 more weeks of recovery, having to wear an eye shield at bed time, and putting 3 different eye drops, 4X a day, in my eye, but I think I can handle it. After all I've waited this long. What's ano...

And WOW is there a dramatic difference. It's not only that the Interocular Lens , implanted in my eye to replace the cataract, has improved my distance vision far beyond what I can remember, but the colors are so much more vibrant now. I never knew (or at least don't remember) how white,  the color white can be. The big problem now is waiting the 7 weeks for the cataract in my other eye to be removed.  

I find it truly amazing that it was my primary care physician that had the foresight to send me to the ophthalmologist for evaluation for cataracts, rather than the optometrist I saw for evaluation of my rapidly changing eyesight and prevalence for infections. It's like I've always said, it's not the health care system that determines your quality of care, but rather the doctors. The only problem being there are good doctors and bad doctors, and it's not always so easy to determine which are which. Anyways, as a result of the visit to the ophthalmologist I've been approved for cataract surgery. It's just not going to happen as soon as I would hope. (I'm looking at early March.) Apparently there are few other people seeking cataract surgery as well. (And here I thought I was the only one with such a problem.) I find it hard to believe that many people are in need of cataract surgery, but I was also told there is a possibility I could get in sooner, as patient...

Despite the iron increasing my hemoglobin, it didn't make me feel better. I didn't have more energy. I actually think I had less energy, and felt better when my hemoglobin was at 11 g/dL. (Of course the [cold] weather may have something to do with my lethargy as well.) Not only that, but it's increased my awareness of my spleen, and I think it's the cause of the increased occurrence of eye infections [inflammations, irritations, or whatever] I've been experiencing. I do have an appointment with an Ophthalmologist tomorrow, to see what he has to say about my eye irritations. I'm hoping I can talk him into cataract surgery, at least on my left eye which has been the most problematic, and I can eliminate the need for contact lenses, which may also be contributing to my problems. After that, who knows? I may start taking iron again. Stranger things have happened, but until I start feeling better, that's not gonna happen. This year is just not starting out as I h...

It's that time of year again. It's flu season, and flu cases are  on the rise in many parts of the country . So if you didn't have the foresight to get your flu shot earlier, it's not too late to get it now. Get it before you become a statistic, and if not for yourself, get it for me, and others like me. Get it for those with compromised immune systems, who are more susceptible to contracting all sorts of illnesses. More importantly, remember to wash your hands frequently (it is likely the single biggest factor to reducing your potential for getting the flu), don't touch your face, especially around the eyes, refrain from shaking hands, without being impolite, and don't go to work if you're feeling sick. We'll all be better off for it.

Everyday the evidence keeps mounting against the wholesale taking of vitamins and supplements. Now the efficacy and the necessity for taking Vitamin D, a vitamin I once considered taking, even recommending it in the past , is being debunked. Vitamin D supplements 'don't ward off ill health': [There is] Little evidence pills lower risk of cancer, strokes or other conditions ......a review of 462 studies involving more than a million adults has concluded that a lack of vitamin D is not a trigger for many common illnesses. ..................... Lead author Professor Philippe Autier, from the International  Prevention Research Institute  in Lyon, France, said: ‘What this  discrepancy suggests is that decreases in vitamin D levels are a marker of deteriorating health. Ageing and inflammatory processes involved in disease occurrence .... reduce vitamin D concentrations, which would explain why vitamin D deficiency is reported in a wide range of disorders.’ I'm not quite sure ...

Most herbal supplements are fake ! At least it's not a surprise to me. And why would anyone expect it to be otherwise? After all, we're talking about a totally unregulated industry where there in no risk, nor penalty for lying, cutting corners, or making misleading statements concerning the efficacy of such products. What may be even more disconcerting is what this means for the rest of the industry? Even though this study only addresses herbal supplements, there is mounting evidence indicting the entire vitamin and supplement industry. (Most recently Childrens Hospital of Philadelphia  banned most supplements  from it's pharmacy). And just when I started taking an iron supplement. :( So if you're still skeptical, or like myself, find themselves in need of a supplement, just remember the old 'free market' adage caveat emptor  [buyer beware] Such is life!

November 3rd marks the end of daylight savings time ends. The clocks get turned back an hour, and daybreak comes an hour earlier. I just hope I can make it that long. There's still 14 days to go. The last couple of weeks have been particularly difficult. All I seem to want to do is sleep. 6 o'clock comes around, and it's still dark outside. So I turn over, bury my head in the pillow, and go right back to sleep. That's never my plan when I go to bed the night before, but it always seems to work out that way. And it doesn't seem to matter what time I go to bed either. Then on top of everything else, my nose started bleeding this morning. I haven't had a nose bleed in over 3 years, but whenever I do get one, I can't help but think back to 4 years ago when I had to get my nose cauterized and 12 years ago when I had to go to the emergency room. Fortunately this latest episode wasn't that severe, and I was able to get it stopped relatively quickly. [And won...

I was reading an article in the most recent AARP magazine about Bill Clinton and his decision to become a vegan. Clinton traces that decision back to [angina] pain he was experiencing one morning in 2010 (6 years after quadruple bypass surgery), which resulted in him requiring a stent because one of [the grafted] veins "had given out". I did some additional research (on the internet) and discovered the vein hadn't actually given out, as reported in the AARP article, but rather it had become clogged. Further research revealed Cardiac experts say that the blockage of grafted heart vessels is not unusual in bypass patients. Depending on whether the grafts are veins or arteries — the former being smaller and less flexible than the latter — blockage could occur as soon as five years or as late as 10 years following the initial surgery. Schwartz said the bypass graft that was blocked in Clinton's case has about a 10% to 20% failure rate at five to six years. Maybe I'll...

For my diagnosis of MCL that is. For years, prior to my diagnosis with MCL, I had taken mega doses of vitamin C (2000 mg/day), along with vitamins E and D, and calcium, solely based on the supposed research of Linus Pauling suggesting it would prevent cancer. It wasn't until shortly after my diagnosis with MCL that I started reading about the hazards of taking vitamins and supplements, and while I didn’t stop immediately, it wasn't very long afterwards that I came to the realization, it was highly likely all those vitamins and supplements were, at the very least, a contributing factor to my diagnosis. Now, I can proudly say I have been vitamin and supplement free for the past 10+ years, and haven't experienced any undesired consequences. (At least none that I am aware of.) It's just too bad  this article in The Atlantic didn't come out long before my diagnosis. I'm sure I would have stopped taking them a lot sooner, had I learned about all the contradictory ev...

Not that it did much to put a stop to the way I've been feeling the past several days [or weeks], but I received the results of my latest blood test, and all was good. Well at least it was all the same as it has been. Sure my lymphocyte count was still high, but no higher or lower than it's been for the past 3+ years, as was my hemoglobin, platelets and just about everything else. Even my creatinine phosphokinase (CPK) was fine. That was a test ordered by my primary care physician (PCP) because of some unusual bone and neck pains I was experiencing as of late, which I was thinking may be caused by the Lipitor I'm currently taking for cholesterol. So now all I have left to worry about are the intermittent pains I'm continuing to experience in my chest. My PCP doesn’t think it's angina, suggesting it could be the result of nerve damage from the CABG surgery, but has authorized another treadmill test, to hopefully rule out any problems. I always thought I should have ...

I'm sure lots of people will say they've had life changing experiences. I even thought I had one back on March 26, 2002, when I received the results of the blood test which eventually led to my diagnosis of MCL. (It's scary how easily some people can be fooled, especially when it's yourself.) While that certainly changed my life, for the better I would add, it can in no way compare to the truly life changing experience of having heart surgery. I am definitely not the same person I was 6 months ago, before my surgery, not physically or emotionally. Sure, I'm able to do most of the things I enjoy, but not with the same zeal or confidence I once had. From the moment I awake in the morning, to the point I'm finally able to drag myself out of bed, so goes the rest of my day. Every ache and pain, whether real or nuanced, causes me pause. Should I simply ignore it, should I call the doctor, or should I just simply give up? So far I've [mostly] chosen the first, but...

I'm not 100% convinced yet, especially after hearing terms like 'casein', "enzymes', or 'making the body more acidic', but the evidence sure seems to be mounting. From  Huffpost Healthy Living KF:  What exactly is so bad about animal protein? TCC:  I don't choose the word "exactly" because it suggests something very specific. Rather, casein causes a broad spectrum of adverse effects. Among other fundamental effects, it makes the body more acidic, alters the mix of hormones and modifies important enzyme activities, each of which can cause a broad array of more specific effects. One of these effects is its ability to promote cancer growth (by operating on key enzyme systems, by increasing hormone growth factors and by modifying the tissue acidity). Another is its ability to increase blood cholesterol (by modifying enzyme activities) and to enhance atherogenesis, which is the early stage of cardiovascular disease. And finally, although these are ...

It's been almost 3 full days since I stopped taking Metoprolol. I'm not yet convinced it was the correct decision, but neither am I convinced it's of continued benefit to me at this point either. My cardiologist told me I would be taking Metoprolol the rest of my life, something I wasn't delighted to hear, but he wasn't so adamant about it when I complained of fatigue which I attributed to the Metoprolol. So since there hasn't been any improvement in the amount of fatigue I've been experiencing, nor have I been dissuaded from the belief it is a limiting factor in my ability to increase my endurance, I decided it was time to quit. Plus, I'm taking such a low dose, 12.5 mg twice a day, any effects I may be experiencing, good or bad, could simply be a placebo effect. Still, while it's probably too early to come to any conclusions, I have noticed some changes. First and foremost being, it seems much easier to get my HR up when exercising, but without exc...

Yesterday I decided to clean my bowling balls. It had been over 3 months since I had done it last. Of course I hadn't bowled in all that time either, so it wasn't necessary, but now that's changed. Anyways, as I was lifting, and rotatng the first ball, to clean a different portion of it, I felt something pull, or tear, or I don't know what. The left side of my chest is still numb, so I can't always tell right away if I may or may not of hurt myself. It didn't feel that bad right after it happened, so I finished cleaning the other 2 balls. I was just more cautious as I was lifting and rotating the balls. The problem now is, after going for a short bike ride this morning (probably not a wise decision), with a friend, it is starting to cause me some discomfort. I keep getting these small stinging sensations on the left side of my chest. I think I best put some ice on it now, just in case.

I've finally come to the conclusion the US has the stupidest population in the world. The US is the only first world, rich industrialized, OECD country where access to health care is considered a privilege, and rations it based on your status in life. The US is the only country where it is believed the answer to more guns on the street, is more guns on the street, and the US is the only country where there is a belief that vaccines are a government plot to control the population , and that you can get the flu from the flu shot. No wonder the flu is reaching epidemic proportions in the US . Less than 50% (46% to be more exact) of the population has received their flu shot . So please, don't be stupid. Get your flu shot now. If not for yourself, then at least for me, and everyone else with a compromised immune system who are particularly at risk.

No matter how much I may want it, I can't will the pain in my chest away. But the thought of the pain continuing on, regardless of the length of time, and the continuing need to take Oxycodon has been weighing on me ever since I left the hospital, so I keep trying. I keep trying to extend the time between doses of Oxycodon. If I don't, how will I know if I'm making progress? The other day, I managed to go 13 hours between doses. I even thought I was making progress. After each passing hour, from the previous dose, I kept telling myself the discomfort [pain] wasn't that bad, but I was only fooling myself. It wasn't until after the 13th hour, when I finally relented, and took an Oxycodon, that I realized just how much pain I was truly in. The relief the Oxycodon provided was unmistakeable. It was like the weight of the world was lifted from my chest. Why did it take me so long to realize that? Ever since my diagnosis, I have been resistant to the taking of medications...

I know it's only been just over 3 weeks since my surgery, and by some accounts, I might even be considered to be recovering faster than most. I also know my surgery was a little more problematic than most, having had a collapsed lung, and requiring 4 [drainage] tubes in me after surgery (most only have 2). Still I can't help but think, 3 weeks is a long time. Plus I'm still in need of my pain meds, and there does not appear to be any light at the end of this long, arduous tunnel. Everyone keeps telling me it will pass, and I will get better. Maybe that's true. After all the doctor did say my pain would likely persist for 4 to 6 weeks, but the longer it does persist, the more I begin to wonder  if all this has been worth it? One of the drawbacks of being laid up for so long is having way too much time on my hands to read. Too much time to read about the successes [and failures] of bypass surgery. Something, I've learned isn't all sunshine and roses, which only s...

I must be getting better, because I'm ahead of my scheduled physical therapy. I'm able to walk for 12 minutes at a time, 3 times a day, covering more than a half mile each time. My schedule has me at only 10 minutes, 3 times a day. More importantly, I know I can do more. I'm just hesitant to progress too fast for fear of over doing it. The pain in my chest is also dissipating, albeit not as fast as I would like, and it isn't so much the pain anymore that is so bothersome, but rather the heaviness in my chest that is persisting. I've cut my Oxycodon down to once every 4 hours from every 3 hours, and was even able to go to the bathroom today without taking a stool softener (I still had to take a laxative), which I am attributing to skipping my midnight Oxycodon. But most notably, I know I must be getting better, as my appetite has returned. I actually went back for seconds last night, something I haven't done since I got home from the hospital. I haven't gaine...