LIVING WITH MCL

I know it's only been just over 3 weeks since my surgery, and by some accounts, I might even be considered to be recovering faster than most. I also know my surgery was a little more problematic than most, having had a collapsed lung, and requiring 4 [drainage] tubes in me after surgery (most only have 2). Still I can't help but think, 3 weeks is a long time. Plus I'm still in need of my pain meds, and there does not appear to be any light at the end of this long, arduous tunnel. Everyone keeps telling me it will pass, and I will get better. Maybe that's true. After all the doctor did say my pain would likely persist for 4 to 6 weeks, but the longer it does persist, the more I begin to wonder  if all this has been worth it? One of the drawbacks of being laid up for so long is having way too much time on my hands to read. Too much time to read about the successes [and failures] of bypass surgery. Something, I've learned isn't all sunshine and roses, which only s...

I'm tired! I'm really tired. And these past 8 days of essentially non stop rain certainly didn't help any. Even today, when I thought I would be able to get out on a real bike once again, I looked out side, and discovered the roads are still soaking wet. So here I am stuck in the house once again. But mostly I'm tired of dealing with my MCL. I'm tired of the endless blood tests, and visits to the oncologist. I'm tired of people asking me how I feel, and then lying to them. I'm tired of putting on a happy face, and going about my life as if nothing is wrong. You'd think (at least I would) after [nearly] 9 years, my body would have figured out there's something wrong, and do something about it. You'd think after [nearly] 9 years my body would have built up some defenses to my MCL, and maybe even mount an offense for a change. But why would I think that? Heck, the best minds in the US can't seem to come together and figure out how to get c...

After feeling so terrible during Thursday's bike ride , I took Friday off, hoping to rejuvenate my body. Instead I went to Surf City Cyclery to buy a new set of tights and gloves, in an attempt to lighten up the load just a little, in anticipation of this mornings ride. I knew it was going to be cold this morning, but I was not expecting it to be below 40°F, my self imposed cut off point for going on a bike ride (there isn't enough clothing to keep you warm below that temperature), so when I woke up this morning to see 37°F on the wall thermometer, I was in total dismay. (And it's not even sunrise yet, so it will get even colder.) I know it's a lot colder in other parts of the country (so I shouldn't complain too much), but this is southern California, and this is only November. We don't normally see these kind of temperatures until February, in the height of winter. As if life isn't depressing enough for me, why does the weather have to spoil one of the [ve...

I've come to the realization I spend way to much time sitting in front of my computer. I've actually known this for a long time, but I just don't seem to be able to do much about it. Some of it is actually productive, like answering work emails, keeping track of my finances, and logging in my miles on the bike, but that only takes up a small portion of my time in front of the computer. Too much time is spent playing around on Facebook, reading emails from other lymphoma survivors (OK, that might actually be considered worthwhile), and reading news and political commentary, sometimes even commenting when the urge arises. Even writing this blog seems to occupy more time than I would like. And now that I have my DroidX, I find myself spending even more time staring at a VDU (visual display unit). Certainly the internet has been a boon to the world in many ways. Most notably for the amount of information that has been made much more readily available to everyone, and something ...

BIG SIGH! This seems to be an ongoing issue with me, that is how tough it is some mornings just gettin' out of bed. And it has [almost] nothing to do with the state of the economy, or the tearing apart of the fabric of our society by some factions in our country, or even mine and Edie's illnesses. It's just becoming more noticeable with each passing day how everything I've come to accept and enjoy in life is being altered in ways I'm not happy with. Sure there have been some changes that have been for the better, and have made our lives easier, i.e. computers, the internet, smart phones, wireless everything, etc. but those are just things. And the more I think about it, I'm not so sure the advent of the internet has been such a good thing. I'm talking about things you can't easily describe. It's like how the dynamics of the bike club I started back in the late 80's, along with a few friends, has changed, and now the same thing is occurring with t...

I hate Mondays. Monday is a day off for me. A day off from work, and a day off from riding. I did have a golf game lined up in Industry Hills this morning, but golf just hasn't excited me as of late, so I passed. I also could have gone for a bike ride, but I put in over 900 miles last month, and I think my body could do with a little R&R. Besides it was foggy this morning, and that never makes for a pleasant or fun ride. So what did I do instead? I got up (after a lousy nights sleep), surfed the internet for interesting stuff (which there wasn't much of), watched some news and early morning talk shows on TV, and then just got depressed. The ever bleak and gloomy picture[s] being painted by many economic experts is disheartening at best, and the continual bickering and infighting by our elected representatives, and others, repeating the same old rhetoric over and over again, is enough to make a grown man cry. I really need to put a stop to this! Work might have even been m...