Skip to main content

Like Sand Through the Hourglass

So are the Days of Our Lives

I never watched that soap opera, but that intro always seemed so profound, and it even seems more so today.

It's hard for me to believe that I was diagnosed with MCL over 4 years ago, and I have not had any treatment. Yet still, so many other things have changed. Even sitting in the oncologists office this morning, I realized I'm still here, but so many others have moved on.

My original oncologist moved on, as did a number of nurses that were always in the back office. The receptionists always changed more often than the others, but I mention it today, because one of the old receptionists returned for a visit. At least I think it was a visit.

I didn't recognize her at first, until someone mentioned her name. I didn't say anything to her either, because she didn't look as good as I remembered, and I surmised from her conversation that she may of had cancer, hearing something about chemo in the conversation. I guess I should have said something, but I chose not to, not really know what I should say anywaze.

Everyday, on the email lists I belong to, new subscribers write about themselves, or some relative, being diagnosed with MCL, while we are informed of the passing of others.

Yet here I still am, everyday thinking that day is getting closer for me.

I couldn't begin to count the number of times I've felt under my neck, and I thought I found an enlarged lymphnode, or the number of times I thought I was experiencing night sweats, only to uncover myself, and I cool right down. And neither can I count the number of times I thought I was too tired or fatigued to do anything, only to force myself to go exercise, and end up performing, as well as, or better than I have before.

Yes life goes on, just like "Sand through an hourglass". It waits for no one, and I know it won't wait for me either. Eventually we all have to deal with the inevitable, I just don't know why we have to dwell on it so. There are so many better things to do with our time.

Cross posted at A Patients Perspective.
Labels:

Comments

Walt Kelley said…
I too have MCL and am a snowbird. I live in NORTH CENTRAL ASHINGON STATE WHERE THE AVERAGE PRICE OF A HOME IS AT OR JUST ABOVE $100,000. We're about 125 North of Wenatchee WA where we have excellent Medical facilities, I spend 5 months in Hemet Calif & there the facilities are closer, but so overcrowded ( you know the reason)In Calif. We live in a 55 plus mobile home park and though we pay $400 per month for rent, you can buy a decent mobile for under $40,000. So best of two worlds if you are retired. Like you site,Walt
11:07 PM
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The results are in

And I am iron deficient, big time. [Which would account for my low hemoglobin] Test Result Ref Range IRON 30 59-158 mcg/dL TOTAL IRON BINDING CAPACITY 231 250-420 mcg/dL IRON SAT 13 20-50 % My Ferritin levels were good, but that could be because Ferritin is also an "acute phase reactant", that is sometimes increased with acute or chronic disease. Folate and B12 levels were also within the normal range. The only problem now is determining what is causing the iron deficiency, which in the case of men, is [very] rare. My oncologist has given me a Globin Fecal test to perform, and has scheduled me for a consultation with a colorectal surgeon to discuss performing a colonoscopy, which could be problematic because of my large spleen. In the mean time, I've decided to start taking an iron supplement, it's only the quantity that is causing me some consternation. I've been told by a very knowledgeable person that to overcome an iron deficiency, I need to be taking 300 mg o...
5 comments
Read more

This is just one of those days

It's one of those days you just want to sit around the house and do absolutely nothing, or watch some movies you have recorded. It might even be a good day to read a book, if you were so inclined, which I am not. As you should be able to see from the view out my bedroom window, it is raining outside. The rain started last night, and hasn't let up since. I can't complain too much though, as this is the rainy season, and we do need the rain. Plus Monday's are typically my day off from exercise, so I will surprise everyone, and not complain. I just feel sorry for anyone who might be visiting from, say Argentina, like a friend of mine (fellow MCLer), who happens to be in Cambria today. He might be a little disappointed. Fortunately the rest of the week, when he will be in LA, will be nice, and the real intent of his trip was to visit his son in Tahoe, who works at one of the ski resorts, and ski, so I know he's not complaining too much either. This weather will actually...
6 comments
Read more

Stop the stupidity!

Rural medical center (in Georgia) suspended from vaccination program after inoculating school district staff. Give me a break! Trying to get kids back to school, while protecting teachers, bus drivers and other staff, is exactly what school districts should be doing. If they have vaccines, give them out. We should be giving out vaccines to all who want them, whenever available. Trying to adhere to rigid guidelines will only result in fewer people getting vaccines, resulting in the discarding of precious vaccines, and less protection for everyone. Of course we should be giving first priority to healthcare workers, and any other essential public service employees, such as policeman, fireman, etc. first, but when they're not around to receive shots, or refuse shots, then give them to anyone willing to take them. What I would have objected to is the medical center trying to capitalize on the pandemic to make a profit, from giving vaccines to people far down the list of recipients, but ...
Post a Comment
Read more