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Like Sand Through the Hourglass

So are the Days of Our Lives

I never watched that soap opera, but that intro always seemed so profound, and it even seems more so today.

It's hard for me to believe that I was diagnosed with MCL over 4 years ago, and I have not had any treatment. Yet still, so many other things have changed. Even sitting in the oncologists office this morning, I realized I'm still here, but so many others have moved on.

My original oncologist moved on, as did a number of nurses that were always in the back office. The receptionists always changed more often than the others, but I mention it today, because one of the old receptionists returned for a visit. At least I think it was a visit.

I didn't recognize her at first, until someone mentioned her name. I didn't say anything to her either, because she didn't look as good as I remembered, and I surmised from her conversation that she may of had cancer, hearing something about chemo in the conversation. I guess I should have said something, but I chose not to, not really know what I should say anywaze.

Everyday, on the email lists I belong to, new subscribers write about themselves, or some relative, being diagnosed with MCL, while we are informed of the passing of others.

Yet here I still am, everyday thinking that day is getting closer for me.

I couldn't begin to count the number of times I've felt under my neck, and I thought I found an enlarged lymphnode, or the number of times I thought I was experiencing night sweats, only to uncover myself, and I cool right down. And neither can I count the number of times I thought I was too tired or fatigued to do anything, only to force myself to go exercise, and end up performing, as well as, or better than I have before.

Yes life goes on, just like "Sand through an hourglass". It waits for no one, and I know it won't wait for me either. Eventually we all have to deal with the inevitable, I just don't know why we have to dwell on it so. There are so many better things to do with our time.

Cross posted at A Patients Perspective.
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Walt Kelley said…
I too have MCL and am a snowbird. I live in NORTH CENTRAL ASHINGON STATE WHERE THE AVERAGE PRICE OF A HOME IS AT OR JUST ABOVE $100,000. We're about 125 North of Wenatchee WA where we have excellent Medical facilities, I spend 5 months in Hemet Calif & there the facilities are closer, but so overcrowded ( you know the reason)In Calif. We live in a 55 plus mobile home park and though we pay $400 per month for rent, you can buy a decent mobile for under $40,000. So best of two worlds if you are retired. Like you site,Walt
11:07 PM
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