Skip to main content

Like Sand Through the Hourglass

So are the Days of Our Lives

I never watched that soap opera, but that intro always seemed so profound, and it even seems more so today.

It's hard for me to believe that I was diagnosed with MCL over 4 years ago, and I have not had any treatment. Yet still, so many other things have changed. Even sitting in the oncologists office this morning, I realized I'm still here, but so many others have moved on.

My original oncologist moved on, as did a number of nurses that were always in the back office. The receptionists always changed more often than the others, but I mention it today, because one of the old receptionists returned for a visit. At least I think it was a visit.

I didn't recognize her at first, until someone mentioned her name. I didn't say anything to her either, because she didn't look as good as I remembered, and I surmised from her conversation that she may of had cancer, hearing something about chemo in the conversation. I guess I should have said something, but I chose not to, not really know what I should say anywaze.

Everyday, on the email lists I belong to, new subscribers write about themselves, or some relative, being diagnosed with MCL, while we are informed of the passing of others.

Yet here I still am, everyday thinking that day is getting closer for me.

I couldn't begin to count the number of times I've felt under my neck, and I thought I found an enlarged lymphnode, or the number of times I thought I was experiencing night sweats, only to uncover myself, and I cool right down. And neither can I count the number of times I thought I was too tired or fatigued to do anything, only to force myself to go exercise, and end up performing, as well as, or better than I have before.

Yes life goes on, just like "Sand through an hourglass". It waits for no one, and I know it won't wait for me either. Eventually we all have to deal with the inevitable, I just don't know why we have to dwell on it so. There are so many better things to do with our time.

Cross posted at A Patients Perspective.
Labels:

Comments

Walt Kelley said…
I too have MCL and am a snowbird. I live in NORTH CENTRAL ASHINGON STATE WHERE THE AVERAGE PRICE OF A HOME IS AT OR JUST ABOVE $100,000. We're about 125 North of Wenatchee WA where we have excellent Medical facilities, I spend 5 months in Hemet Calif & there the facilities are closer, but so overcrowded ( you know the reason)In Calif. We live in a 55 plus mobile home park and though we pay $400 per month for rent, you can buy a decent mobile for under $40,000. So best of two worlds if you are retired. Like you site,Walt
11:07 PM
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Vaccine Mandates, what are they good for?

Not much, that's for sure! Simply showing evidence of receiving a Covid-19 vaccine (whether fake or not), does not mean you are protected from getting Covid-19, nor spreading it, if infected. We are all different, and too many of us, i.e. people who are immunocompromised/ immunosupressed, the elderly, or others for various reasons, do not [cannot] mount an immune response as good as younger and healthier individuals. What is evidence of immunity is a quantitative antibody test showing you have developed antibodies, and to what degree, either from natural immunity or the vaccine.  That is what we should be testing for. That is what is important. But for too long, many, i.e. the FDA, doctors, and other health experts discouraged people (and still are) from getting antibody tests, because there was little knowledge about what level of antibodies are needed to impart immunity to the virus. That of course is true, to some extent, but how can we ever find out [learn] the answer to that q
Post a Comment
Read more

History IS repeating itself

I didn't grow up during the rise and fall of Hitler and Nazi Germany, so for me to claim it feels like those are the times we are living in now, must be taken with a grain of salt. But I have seen enough movies, and read enough history to know, if the times we're living in now are not akin to the rise of a Nazism and Facism in Europe in the 1930's and 1940's, then we're not far off. If you can't see the parallels with Nazi Germany, then you must be living in a different country than me. Republicans and other right wing extremists will stop at nothing to subvert the will of the majority, forcing their beliefs, that they are the superior race and have been appointed by God, to impose their will on America, while they blame all our problems on immigrants, blacks and Jews. As I speak, Mitch McConnell, and his minions are raising roadblocks to all legislation designed to help average Americans under the guise of fiscal responsibility. They condone violent and verba
Post a Comment
Read more

Open letter to all Democrats

Stop the nonsense! Continuing to go after Trump, without any hope of getting a conviction, does nothing more than provide Republicans with an obstructionist dialogue (now that they have come up with the unconstitutional talking point) in addition to giving Trump much needed publicity, when we should be ignoring him. It's the pure definition of insanity, doing the same thing over and over again, and expecting a different result! Instead Democrats need to be laser focused on what is important to all Americans, i.e. healthcare, Social Security and Medicare, infrastructure reform, the Covid-19 vaccine rollout, to name just a few. And when you do talk about Trump, simply steer the conversation as to how the Trump administration botched everything, how Trump is responsible for the deaths of 400,000+ Americans, due to his inaction and the down playing of the pandemic, plus the deaths of 2 Capitol policeman during the insurrection Trump provoked and incited on January 6, 2021.
Post a Comment
Read more