Skip to main content

This was supposed to be our golden years

Of course now I'm beginning to wonder whether that was meant to be a good or bad thing.
I don't know how others can do it. I don't know how anyone can go through life without someone else by their side. I know lots of people are in that position, but I'm finding it difficult at best. And I've only been at it for 2 months. Maybe you get used to it after awhile, but I'm not sure I can wait "awhile".
Friends and family help fill some of the void, but there's only so much cycling and bowling you can do to fill in the rest of the gaps. Eventually though, you still end up in an empty house, with no one to talk to, to confide in, watch TV with, or simply to comfort you when you need it.
Some people have told me the accepted time for dating again is a year, but I don't think I could make that. So I've gone and done the unthinkable. I joined "match.com" for 7 days (it was a free trial), in hopes of meeting that perfect someone.

There were a couple of potentials, but nothing seemed to click. That may have had to do with how much I was willing to share online. I thought I was being pretty forthcoming, but it never seemed to be enough for some.
One problem is all the baggage I carry, i.e. my lymphoma, and bypass surgery. I know I need to be more up front about it, after all a simple name search, of me on the internet, will yield my life's story. And while neither issue should be a show stopper, considering how I've dealt with both issues, I'm still hesitant. I'd rather they got to know me a little better before I lower the boom.
BIG SIGH! Life is so hard! And I'm just having a terrible time dealing with it all.
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The results are in

And I am iron deficient, big time. [Which would account for my low hemoglobin] Test Result Ref Range IRON 30 59-158 mcg/dL TOTAL IRON BINDING CAPACITY 231 250-420 mcg/dL IRON SAT 13 20-50 % My Ferritin levels were good, but that could be because Ferritin is also an "acute phase reactant", that is sometimes increased with acute or chronic disease. Folate and B12 levels were also within the normal range. The only problem now is determining what is causing the iron deficiency, which in the case of men, is [very] rare. My oncologist has given me a Globin Fecal test to perform, and has scheduled me for a consultation with a colorectal surgeon to discuss performing a colonoscopy, which could be problematic because of my large spleen. In the mean time, I've decided to start taking an iron supplement, it's only the quantity that is causing me some consternation. I've been told by a very knowledgeable person that to overcome an iron deficiency, I need to be taking 300 mg o...
5 comments
Read more

This is just one of those days

It's one of those days you just want to sit around the house and do absolutely nothing, or watch some movies you have recorded. It might even be a good day to read a book, if you were so inclined, which I am not. As you should be able to see from the view out my bedroom window, it is raining outside. The rain started last night, and hasn't let up since. I can't complain too much though, as this is the rainy season, and we do need the rain. Plus Monday's are typically my day off from exercise, so I will surprise everyone, and not complain. I just feel sorry for anyone who might be visiting from, say Argentina, like a friend of mine (fellow MCLer), who happens to be in Cambria today. He might be a little disappointed. Fortunately the rest of the week, when he will be in LA, will be nice, and the real intent of his trip was to visit his son in Tahoe, who works at one of the ski resorts, and ski, so I know he's not complaining too much either. This weather will actually...
6 comments
Read more

When is enough, enough?

Today I learned, Lance Armstrong, the most drug tested athlete in the history of sport, is being accused of doping, again . This time by the US Anti Doping Agency (USADA), who claim they have collected blood samples from him in 2009 and 2010 that were “fully consistent with blood manipulation including EPO use and/or blood transfusions.” Really! What took them so long? The French have been trying to make allegations of drug doping stick for years, ever since he won his first Tour d'France, but to no avail. And now the USADA claims to have evidence to support that claim, and they've waited almost 3 years before releasing this evidence. Needless to say, I am skeptical. Then there's this from the Congressional Budget Office (CBO): Increasing the federal excise tax on cigarettes by 50 cents per pack eventually would increase Medicare and Social Security spending, slightly. Eventually? What is the CBO suggesting here? That we should encourage smoking, because if we don't, in...
11 comments
Read more