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This was supposed to be our golden years

Of course now I'm beginning to wonder whether that was meant to be a good or bad thing.
I don't know how others can do it. I don't know how anyone can go through life without someone else by their side. I know lots of people are in that position, but I'm finding it difficult at best. And I've only been at it for 2 months. Maybe you get used to it after awhile, but I'm not sure I can wait "awhile".
Friends and family help fill some of the void, but there's only so much cycling and bowling you can do to fill in the rest of the gaps. Eventually though, you still end up in an empty house, with no one to talk to, to confide in, watch TV with, or simply to comfort you when you need it.
Some people have told me the accepted time for dating again is a year, but I don't think I could make that. So I've gone and done the unthinkable. I joined "match.com" for 7 days (it was a free trial), in hopes of meeting that perfect someone.

There were a couple of potentials, but nothing seemed to click. That may have had to do with how much I was willing to share online. I thought I was being pretty forthcoming, but it never seemed to be enough for some.
One problem is all the baggage I carry, i.e. my lymphoma, and bypass surgery. I know I need to be more up front about it, after all a simple name search, of me on the internet, will yield my life's story. And while neither issue should be a show stopper, considering how I've dealt with both issues, I'm still hesitant. I'd rather they got to know me a little better before I lower the boom.
BIG SIGH! Life is so hard! And I'm just having a terrible time dealing with it all.
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