It's now been just over 9 years since I was diagnosed with MCL, but unlike the fact I no longer have to go into work, this is something I don't think I'll ever get used to.
I've even gotten to the point now where I think I may never need treatment, which wouldn't be a bad thing, but what's scary is, that mindset has become so engrained, I'm at the point where I'm afraid of treatment, and may be hesitant to take it, or even realize I need treatment, when the time comes.
I may even benefit from beginning treatment now, with single agent Rituxan, which would likely make me feel better by reducing the size of my spleen, and my feelings of fatigue, but when I think of all the known [and potentially more severe] unknown side effects, I'm hesitant.
After all, I'm not at the point where I am totally debilitated. I can still function somewhat normal (and not having to make that 80 mile drive to work any more has helped), so I maintain the status quo, hoping [beyond hope] I don't wait too long, and it becomes too late to do anything that will be effective.
One thing I have learned from all this, making decisions at work was a lot easier than the ones you have to make in life.
I've even gotten to the point now where I think I may never need treatment, which wouldn't be a bad thing, but what's scary is, that mindset has become so engrained, I'm at the point where I'm afraid of treatment, and may be hesitant to take it, or even realize I need treatment, when the time comes.
I may even benefit from beginning treatment now, with single agent Rituxan, which would likely make me feel better by reducing the size of my spleen, and my feelings of fatigue, but when I think of all the known [and potentially more severe] unknown side effects, I'm hesitant.
After all, I'm not at the point where I am totally debilitated. I can still function somewhat normal (and not having to make that 80 mile drive to work any more has helped), so I maintain the status quo, hoping [beyond hope] I don't wait too long, and it becomes too late to do anything that will be effective.
One thing I have learned from all this, making decisions at work was a lot easier than the ones you have to make in life.
Comments
I want him to quit work and enjoy life a bit, but he is not ready. I want to enjoy all the time I can with him!
Who the hell needs the added stress!