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The times they are a changing

I was reminded recently of a quote by Eric Hoffer
In times of change learners inherit the earth; while the learned find themselves beautifully equipped to deal with a world that no longer exists.

Well what I want to know is, what happened to that world, and why can't I continue to live in it if I so desire?  I don't particularly like the changes that are occurring.

Besides the fact the US is "going to hell in a hand basket" (which I won't get into here), work isn't nearly as enjoyable as it once was. Not that work was ever enjoyable, but since being purchased by PCC in October, things have changed in a way I'm not happy about. I can't put a finger on anything in particular, but the feeling is there, much like how the dynamics of the bike club I belong to have changed as well over the past few years.

But worst of all, Edie's myeloma has reared its ugly head again, and I'm beginning to wonder, what's the point of anything any more?

I guess I should count myself lucky in some regards. I am in decent health, considering the health I'm in, still able to compete on the bike at a high level, and Edie's being a real trooper, going about business mostly as normal, with very little complaining, if any. She's certainly handling it a lot better than I would [than I am], and definitely better than a co-worker's wife, who was diagnosed with ovarian cancer, a while ago, and now just lies around the house, taking her pills, and feeling sorry for herself.

Still it doesn't change the feeling I have some most every morning to just bury my head in the pillow, yearning for the good old days, and say to hell with it all. Yet for some reason, I don't. Every morning I manage to drag myself out of bed, put on a happy face, and go about my [mundane] life as if nothing is wrong, knowing full well that just isn't the case.

The only thing I know for sure is, it's getting more difficult with every passing day.

Oh well, time to get ready for todays bike ride.
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Comments

Susan C said…
I'm really bummed to hear that Edie's myeloma is rearing its ugly head again. Do you know what the treatment will be?
1:51 AM
Marc said…
No not yet. The doctors are still deciding. She just had an MRI on Saturday, and they have to review it, to see if she needs some sort of surgery. It seems she has fractured something, myeloma related, so they have to review that first.

Should know something more tonight.
4:01 AM
Gerry said…
Tell Edie our good thoughts are with her!
In your case consider the alternative to feeling good and riding at a competitive level, then life is really good! I would put the pillow on your bike seat and save your ass.....
5:45 AM
Mike F. said…
Sorry about the news regarding Edie. As far as our household, Dee Dee and would be challenged to cope with cancer and the complications from same if we both had a form of the disease. So, hang in there and don't let the bastards get you down. Let your blogging be a way to vent and you do this very well. Get all the exercise you can for the benefits of mental, if not physical health that provides. You're a great example to many and don't forget that fact.
9:43 AM
Patti said…
Hi Marc,
IMHO you could use a mental health evaluation for depression. There are meds that can help you through these tough times if you are willing to try them. Works for me.

Patti, fellow MCL patient
2:22 PM
Becky said…
Tell Edie John and I are thinking positive thoughts for her and you as well. In light of your circumstance it sounds rather like a cliche to look to the positive, but there are positive things to think about or in your case dwell upon. You may not like the job environment now, but it does provide medical insurance and we had a good thing going (a much better deal than most, while we had, it to be sure) You also can be thankful that your wife has a positive outlook as well, as we both have seen the ramifications of the other on our fellow co-worker.

But seriously, I want to see that happy face tomorrow at work. :-)
3:39 PM
Marc said…
Patti, I'm glad those drugs work for you, but that's not me. I did a lot of soul searching before taking those 2 Vicodins the other day after my BMB, and now taking an Fe supplement is creating additional grief. Just won't do it!

And Becky you'll see me at work this morning, but whether it will be a happy one remains to be seen. And yes we did have a good run.
7:32 PM
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