Skip to main content

Helpless in Long Beach

Well, here it is Saturday morning, and it's raining, so you all know what that means. No bike ride and another post.

The last couple of days have not been so good. It seems the cumulative effect of Edie's treatment regimen is taking its toll.

Fridays are typically very draining for Edie, consisting of dialysis in the morning, then chemo in the afternoon, but yesterday seemed especially draining. After getting home around 4:30 PM, all Edie wanted for dinner was a chocolate milkshake from McDonalds, and then she was off to bed.

I should say she tried to get some sleep, as the peripheral neuropathy, and overall body aching made that difficult to accomplish. Fortunately she has managed to get some sleep, and is currently asleep as I write this post.

Hopefully all this sleep will rejuvenate her enough (like last Saturday, when she felt well enough to go out for dinner) to go to a friends 60th birthday party tonight.

I used to think the AS9100 audits, I go through at work every year, were the most stressful thing I would ever have to endure in my life, and while they are stressful, they pale in comparison to watching the misery Edie is going through right now.

Watching someone you love go through such misery, and feeling helpless do anything about it, except for holding her hand, an occasional hug, or cuddling in bed, is by far the most stressful thing anyone will ever have to endure in their entire lifetime.

BIG SIGH :cry:
Labels:

Comments

Becky said…
You'd be amazed at how important a simple touch made by someone you love can be to the recipient.

You're doing more than some would even think to do.

Just ask my husband who had to live with his mother because his (now ex) wife couldn't handle HIS chemo!

Big Hug for the both of you.
1:28 AM
John Wagner said…
Marc,

I can't even begin to understand how terribly difficult your situation must be. Just the feelings of frustration, helplessness and wanting to take on all of her burden and not having the ability to do so must be overwhelming. However, just being there for her, holding her hand, giving the hug and occasional cuddle are all pretty powerful medicine. I hope she is feeling stronger this week. Bless both of you.
3:42 PM
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

My concerns reaffirmed today

When I was first diagnosed with MCL, I pretty much read just about everything I could get my hands on, I attended various conferences, and I talked to anyone who would listen. One of the most important lessons I learned, and which I've mentioned numerous times before was No one cares more about you than you. But in addition to that, I learned to fear the drug Doxorubicin , AKA Adriamycin, Doxil, Hydroxydoxorubicin, or more affectionately the Red Devil. Besides being a deadly chemical, as is the case with most chemotherapy drugs, it is one of the few chemotherapy drugs known to cause permanent heart damage. I even heard Dr. Sandra Horning , a noted Stanford lymphoma specialist, state at the first lymphoma conference I attended in LA, there was no evidence Doxorubicin provided any added benefit to chemotherapy protocols. This was music to my ears, since Doxorubicin is very common in most lymphoma treatment protocols. And even though Dr. Horning has since changed her tune [which my sk...
Post a Comment
Read more

Bowling: A metaphor on life [sorta]

Over the past 15+ years the game of bowling has changed dramatically. Not only has the equipment changed, making it easier for bowlers of all ages and physical conditions to participate, and score well, but there have even been major advances to how the lanes are prepared for the start of bowling. No longer is it just heavy oil, light oil, long oil, short oil, or no oil, with the latest equipment, the amount of oil can be varied from front to back and side to side, producing a myriad of patterns designed to make the game more interesting, more challenging and as you might surmise, more frustrating. No longer does the "one ball fits all" approach work any more either. In order to navigate all the differing possible lane conditions, you need to have a varied selection of bowling balls. Most pros will tell you the average bowler needs 3 balls, plus a ball for spares, but to be an above average bowler you'll need at least 6 balls, with many possessing more than that. But just...
1 comment
Read more

Fatigue! Part II - Maybe it is real?

Or it's actually Motivational Deficiency Disorder, MoDeD (pronounced Mo-Dee-Dee) for short. In a report this week by Roy Moynihan who reports for the British Medical Journal Austrailian scientists may have come across the reason for extreme laziness . The condition is claimed to affect up to one in five Australians and is characterised by overwhelming and debilitating apathy. Neuroscientists at the University of Newcastle in Australia say that in severe cases motivational deficiency disorder can be fatal, because the condition reduces the motivation to breathe. Neurologist Leth Argos is part of the team that has identified the disorder, which can be diagnosed using a combination of positron emission tomography and low scores on a motivation rating scale, previously validated in elite athletes. "This disorder is poorly understood," Professor Argos told the BMJ. "It is underdiagnosed and undertreated." Who knew? Maybe I have MoDeD, from my attempts to become a...
Post a Comment
Read more