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Treatment time nearing???

It's now just over 5 years since that fateful blood test (3/26/2002) that eventually lead to my diagnosis of mantle cell lymphoma (MCL). I was only 53 years old at the time, and never in my wildest dreams did I expect anything like that. But who really does?

At 53, I never even thought of myself as old, so why would I expect to get an old persons disease? Even at 58 (shortly to be 59), I still don't think of myself as old, at least not mentally.

Physically though, it's another story. The problem being the mind doesn't really get old. Sure it would be easy to rationalize the reason I can't perform like I could several years ago, to the fact I am getting older, but somehow I just can't help thinking there is more to it than that.

Everyday it's harder for me to get out of bed, and it takes longer for me to get going. This morning was a perfect example.

I did not want to get up, and if it wasn't for me promising Scott (and old friend who also just so happens to have lymphoma), I would go for a bike ride with him this morning, I wouldn't have gotten up. But I did, and for most of the first hour of the ride, all I could think about was why was I even riding this morning.

But after that first hour, I did manage to warm up enough to start to feel somewhat comfortable.

Now I could even rationalize some more that having ridden 57 miles on Friday, and 45 miles on Saturday, both times at a pretty high intensity, could have something to do with why I felt so tired, but still I can't convince myself that is the only reason.

So lately I have been seriously considering starting treatment very soon, but I am in a quandary as to what treatment to choose. Actually that isn't that tough a decision, my choice being Rituxan alone, as a single agent treatment, but it may take some work to convince my oncologist to agree.

Then there is the secondary choice of what dosage to go with. The standard dose is 375 mg/M2, but no one seems to know how that number was decided upon, and several fellow MCL'rs have been on lower doses, but doing it more often. (In one case 20 mg/M2, 3 times a week.)

Decisions, decisions, I just hate decisions. I've learned that if you wait till the last moment, the problem will either go away by itself, or the decision will become very apparent, and since I don't have another appointment with my oncologist until the second week in May, I plan on waiting at least that long before making a decision.

One thing I do know for sure is, I'm glad I don't have to go into work tomorrow, as I really need some rest!
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Comments

Becky said…
Well, a wise man once told me, "know one cares about your health more than you do."

So, that being said, I'm sure you will do what needs to be done when it needs to be done. And BTW, I get tired just reading about how many miles you ride.

Don't sleep in too late!
12:17 PM
Marc said…
Actually it was
nobody cares more about you than you do It doesn't only apply in case of your health. It applies in all aspects of peoples lives.

But I knew you knew that. I can't help it I'm so neurotic, even if I am sick.
1:17 PM
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