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Quantity vs Quality

It's a concept that comes up everyday in life. When I go ride my bike, it's not the number of miles I put in that is important, but it's the quality of the training session, how much effort I put into those miles, that counts. On the golf course it's even easier. It's not how far you hit the ball, but how far you hit the ball in the fairway.

And it shouldn't be any different in every other aspect of our lives! Or should it?

I've often wondered what I would do, or how I would feel, when (if) I get to a point in life, where I can't ride my bike, play a round of golf, enjoy eating and drinking wine as much as I do, and am relegated to sitting around the house watching reruns of I Love Lucy.

I've often told my wife (who is a nurse), when I get to that point, just shoot me up with morphine or heroine, and let me go happy and peacefully! I'm not so sure she would do that, but that is what I think I would want.

Of course it's easy for me to say that now, since I'm no where near that point in life.

But my 85 year old aunt, who is living with my wife and me, is either there now, or very close to being at that point in life.

To start off, she has congestive heart failure, less then 10% kidney function, severe kyfosis which makes it difficult for her to breathe, high blood pressure, and the list goes on. She's even at a point now with her kidneys, that she is on a "renal diet", that is low sodium, low potassium, low protein, or in other words pretty much nothing. Next step is dialysis.

The question becomes is that a life really worth living? Obviously that's not my decision to make, it's her decision. But eventually it becomes a societal issue.

Right now my wife and I provide for most of Sylvia's care, and she does a decent job of taking care of herself when we're not around. We have actually even seen a slight improvement in her well being, by insuring that she eats properly, and cajoling her into exercising to the extent she is able. She has also developed a tremendous attachment to our cat Morris, who she constantly obsessives over. Morris seems to have given her a greater purpose in life.

But that still didn't prevent two trips to the ER over the past year and a half, once for a TIA (Transient Ischemic Attack), and another when she was in respiratory distress. Oh, and let's not forget about the once a week trips to the doctors for ongoing examinations and shots of Procrit, and the numerous medications she takes, all of which are paid by Medicare Parts A, B and D.

But at what point does she become a burden on society? When does the cost exceed the benefit? It's just not that easy to put a price tag on human life, but eventually we, as a society, may have to!

Even with all that, I'm not sure that would be the type of life I would want to live. Of course, like I said before, I'm not at that point in life yet, so it is difficult for me to say with any certainty how I would react under those circumstances.

Still, I can't help wondering, knowing how quickly things can change, is it the quantity or the quality that matters?

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