Skip to main content

Obsessive Compulsive Disorder

I've noticed lately that I may have actually gone "over the top" as far as being obsessively compulsive. I have always had some compulsive behavior patterns, but lately I seem to be more aware of them. Hopefully that is the first sign which can lead to a cure. But do I really want to be cured?

One of my first compulsions started after being diagnosed with MCL. Within about a month of diagnosis, I decided to stop taking any medications or supplements of any kind, and that includes such seemingly innocuous items as aspirin or even a multivitamin. In fact I wouldn't even put some lotion on two mosquito bites, I received the other day, to ease the itching. I chose to suffer, in the belief that it was all the vitamins and other nutritional items I took prior to being diagnosed with MCL, that led to my diagnosis.

Then there is my obsessive need to drink almost two quarts of decaffeinated green tea (4 tea bags) a day. I've read that something in the green tea acts as an anti-oxidant to prevent cancer, or at least slow the advancement in my case.

Now how misquided or idiotic does that sound? I refuse to take any medication or supplements, because I think that may have contributed to my MCL, but I intentionally drink lots of green tea.

Then there is my obsession with cycling and golf. So far this month, I have put on 460 miles, and it's only the 19th of July. I do believe that it is the exercise that has kept my lymphoma in check. But lately I have been obsessing over my weight, which I have been continually stressing over in an attempt to lose an additional 15 pounds, which has made me want to ride even more than usual. Unfortunately I have been having a great deal of trouble losing those 15 pounds, because I also have this compulsion to eat everything in sight.

Now as far as golfing goes, I'm not sure I want to go into that, but if it wasn't for it being as hot as it has been lately, I would be playing or practicing everyday. Suffice it to say, I think about my game, even when riding my bike, and always anticipating my next round of golf.

So what does everyone think? Do I have Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), or are these just normal obsessions that everyone has?
Labels:

Comments

Becky said…
I think (and this is just an opinion) that perhaps because you have something that you have no control over you go a little overboard in the areas that you do have control over. Like depriving yourself of medication. If you focus on what you can control that which you cannot control doesn't take over and you win.

You're so competive.

Or

Taking control is a much healthier attitude than just giving up or in. You're are cognizant that we all have an expiration date and you are intelligent enough to realize that you can pack each day with life whereas others merely exist.

Weather permitting, of course.
12:55 PM
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

My concerns reaffirmed today

When I was first diagnosed with MCL, I pretty much read just about everything I could get my hands on, I attended various conferences, and I talked to anyone who would listen. One of the most important lessons I learned, and which I've mentioned numerous times before was No one cares more about you than you. But in addition to that, I learned to fear the drug Doxorubicin , AKA Adriamycin, Doxil, Hydroxydoxorubicin, or more affectionately the Red Devil. Besides being a deadly chemical, as is the case with most chemotherapy drugs, it is one of the few chemotherapy drugs known to cause permanent heart damage. I even heard Dr. Sandra Horning , a noted Stanford lymphoma specialist, state at the first lymphoma conference I attended in LA, there was no evidence Doxorubicin provided any added benefit to chemotherapy protocols. This was music to my ears, since Doxorubicin is very common in most lymphoma treatment protocols. And even though Dr. Horning has since changed her tune [which my sk...
Post a Comment
Read more

Bowling: A metaphor on life [sorta]

Over the past 15+ years the game of bowling has changed dramatically. Not only has the equipment changed, making it easier for bowlers of all ages and physical conditions to participate, and score well, but there have even been major advances to how the lanes are prepared for the start of bowling. No longer is it just heavy oil, light oil, long oil, short oil, or no oil, with the latest equipment, the amount of oil can be varied from front to back and side to side, producing a myriad of patterns designed to make the game more interesting, more challenging and as you might surmise, more frustrating. No longer does the "one ball fits all" approach work any more either. In order to navigate all the differing possible lane conditions, you need to have a varied selection of bowling balls. Most pros will tell you the average bowler needs 3 balls, plus a ball for spares, but to be an above average bowler you'll need at least 6 balls, with many possessing more than that. But just...
1 comment
Read more

Fatigue! Part II - Maybe it is real?

Or it's actually Motivational Deficiency Disorder, MoDeD (pronounced Mo-Dee-Dee) for short. In a report this week by Roy Moynihan who reports for the British Medical Journal Austrailian scientists may have come across the reason for extreme laziness . The condition is claimed to affect up to one in five Australians and is characterised by overwhelming and debilitating apathy. Neuroscientists at the University of Newcastle in Australia say that in severe cases motivational deficiency disorder can be fatal, because the condition reduces the motivation to breathe. Neurologist Leth Argos is part of the team that has identified the disorder, which can be diagnosed using a combination of positron emission tomography and low scores on a motivation rating scale, previously validated in elite athletes. "This disorder is poorly understood," Professor Argos told the BMJ. "It is underdiagnosed and undertreated." Who knew? Maybe I have MoDeD, from my attempts to become a...
Post a Comment
Read more