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The Future - It's not all it's cracked up to be

It's been over a week since my last post of any consequence, so in case anyone was worried about me, I thought I'd better get something down in the old blog.

Nothing has really changed too much for me, although I am happy that Daylight Savings Time is fast approaching, but there have been a few things of note that have occurred, which are worth putting down in writing.

The first thing was great concern over my wife's MRI, which she was finally able to convince her PCP she needed, due to some persistant back pain. Something showed up on the T2 vertebrae, and somewhere else, that caused the doctor to order a CT scan, bone scan, some additional blood work and a referral to an oncologist.

This wasn't good. Edie has always been the strong one in the family, knowing how to deal with life's little crises, not me. I can tell you how to forge jet engine parts and evaluate failures, but when it comes to real life problems, I am pretty much a wooss. Fortunately the blood work came back negative for cancer, so now I can start worrying about my golf game again. I'll let the doctors worry about how to relieve the pain from her back.

Then on top of that, I discovered a good friend, and wine drinking buddy, has been getting spontaneous nose bleeds, being attributed to a deviated septum. This has put him out of commission for a couple of weeks until he can get his septum repaired at the end of this month.

But that problem was pale in comparison to the problems of another friend, and colleague in the bike business, which I dabbled in for a brief time several years ago. I hadn't talked to him in awhile, so I was surprised when he called to get information on building up a new $4000 Colnago carbon fiber bike frame he was purchasing. I wouldn't spend more than $3000 for an entire bike, so we started talking some more.

He informed me that he was just diagnosed with NHL, and was currently undergoing treatment. I was taken aback quite a bit, and of course had to inform him of my situation. We both talked about how this has changed our lives, and made us realize that
the future is just a concept we use to avoid living today

We ended by agreeing to keep in touch more, and to go for a bike ride as soon as he gets his bike built. We are about the same size, so I am hoping to get to ride it, otherwise I may have to buy my own!

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Comments

Angie Pedley said…
Most people would agree it's good to live in the present. It's hard to do. Illness gives us insight into doing that - for me it's one of the advantages of acquiring a disability. It's one thing to think it & quite another to do it. I follow a Buddhist path & one of the quotes one monk is fond of is to "sit in meditation as if your hair is on fire" - meaning be entirely in the present & put all you've got into it (I think).
It seems to be a thing about living that acute pain isn't memorable - with acute pain I feel entirely in the present moment. As soon as it subsides I may remember intellectually that something hurt but it fades. And so my resolve to do a few things I always intended to do before my difficulties also fades..........
Thanks for your thoughts. Brenda & Nate were great!
9:21 AM
Marc said…
Thanks Angie, but you just can't let those things fade.

Buddha obviously knew what he was talking about, but I do agree it's easier said than done.

Sometimes you just have to put all that stuff aside, and like the Nike commercial says, "just do it". Otherwise you won't. It's way too easy to be lazy, and what fun is that?
5:34 AM
Suzan said…
I was diagnosed with MCL at 39 years last November, stage 4. I was placed on R CHOP, which now has to be changed 6 cycles further due to the cumulative toxicity of Doxorubicin on my heart. I have run a business the past 15 years, and had to let things slide the past 6 months to cope with my illness. A port is also waiting for insertion next week, since the veins are shot. The prognosis to all accounts is bleak - which leaves one with the question what to do in the meantime. I cannot worry about a cure, since I have not achieved remission yet, and tumors, though down from the size of apples to unshelled peacannuts, have some way to go. Sometimes I am in fighting mode, ready to wait for the curative drug, the next moment, looking for termination of current chemo theraphy... whats the point if it leads to neuropathy, heartburn, fatigue and allround misery? My husband is extremely supportive, and I must drive him insane with my fears and complaints. I have always been dynamic, aggressive, a go-getter. However, realistically that only applies when the odds are even. We all want to believe that our situation will turn out different, and perhaps due to our genetic diversity, it will. As humans we are infinitely hopeful and optimistic, even when we seemed beleagured. Sometimes we win the battle against all expectations.
2:19 AM
Anonymous said…
This humble comment is based on the belief that we humans are both a physical and especially a spiritual reality. It's part of human nobility to do things that outlive us. No matter our physical disability and challenges, we should sustain faith and hope till the time we are called to rest. I was diagnosed with MM in October 2005 and had MM-related multi-level spinal compression fractures of which I am still recovering. At the beginning I thought it was all over but soon realized I wasn't just dying yet. Life had a deeper meaning when I understood we all have opportunities to make the world a better place within the limits of our disabilities and faith. We could help in the search for better treatment and cure for generations yet unborn. Many who made a difference in this world suffered more than we can ever imagine. In a sense, some of us may have been chosen by destiny to suffer justly for a good cause. We cannot aford to give up faith and hope.
3:44 AM
Marc said…
Thanks for that comment. I absolutely agree with you. I certainly hope you don't think I am advocating giving up hope, although I will admit that sometimes I do feel the urge. :)

The point of the post is don't forsake everything for something you may never attain. Enjoy life now while you still can. I don't know anyone who can predict the future.
9:31 AM
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