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Fatigue! Is it real?

In the past there has been a lot of discussion of fatigue on the various newsgroups I subscribe to. It is listed as a symptom of lymphoma and leukemia, so there is no doubt that many people experience it, but how do you know if it is really fatigue, or just a case of depression due to being diagnosed with a terminal illness?

I have heard many complain of fatigue, to the extent they are unable to perform as they have in the past. They tire easily, and just have a general sense of malaise, even when blood counts are within normal ranges. Most attribute it to their disease. Others, such as myself, believe that in the absense of a low hemoglobin count, it is more psychological, that is to say, it is more likely a product of depression.

I know, because I am tired all the time. At least that's my excuse. I seldom want to do anything anymore. I pretty much have to force myself to go for a bike ride, jog or even play golf sometimes. Heck, I even hate getting up in the morning to go to work. Oh well maybe the last thing isn't really an indication of fatigue, but....

Like earlier, I didn't want to go for a bike ride, because I told myself I was tired. I thought of a number of excuses to discourage myself from riding, such as the fact that the roads might be wet (it rained last night), and I didn't want to get my bike dirty, and it was fairly windy outside. The one thing I couldn't get around was the fact that the sun was shining, and it was a perfect 60F outside. Actually a pretty nice day.

I almost didn't go, but then I got a message on the MCL message board, from someone I know, responding to a post I made earlier, which said

Good to hear from you Marc; keep on riding!


So I went for a 30 mile bike ride. It took me just under 2 hours, and had about 900' of climbing. It was a normal weekday bike ride, and it felt good to get out. It was windy on the way back, which made it a tougher ride than I would have preferred, but still it felt good to get out. I had a tail wind on the way out, so I really can't complain too much.

So the point of all this is to say, while some people may experience actual fatigue related to their disease, if your hemoglobin is good, it is more likely you are just depressed. Get up and do something. Even if it's just to get into your car to go shopping. Don't sit around, mope and become a couch potato. You'll only be better off for it, and I feel that I am well qualified to speak to this subject. My hemoglobin, as of my last blood test this AM, was 12.8 (reference range of 14 - 18).

But if you still think you are fatigued, and can't perform like you used to, keep this last thought in mind. We're all getting older, and that, more than anything, may be what is really holding you back. At 57 (58 in 3 months), I know there is no way I will ever be able to perform like I did 20 or even 10 years ago. But I keep trying, and I am still faster than the vast majority of riders younger and older than me, and I can even manage to keep up with some of the fastest 30 year olds, if I put my mind to it.

Comments

John Wagner said…
Marc,

First of all I am so glad to read about your wife's good blood test. That had to have been a huge scare for both of you. Now let's hope they can find out what is really going on and get her some pain relief.

Second, I really like your advice in this latest post. And I certainly admire you for the bike riding you were able to do even with the lower counts. 30 miles, that is amazing! I am convinced a positive outlook helps the healing process more than we know. I was depressed when I was first diagnosed with diabetes. When this leukemia diagnosis came along, I learned my lesson from earlier and realized depression was a waste of time. I spent one night "grieving" and then decided I had to take charge. Can't say I haven't worried, but nothing like the depression that first hit with the diabetes.

Keep on keeping on and above all, "keep on riding!"

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