I actually wrote this post earlier in the week, but not wanting to spoil everyone's Christmas/Chanukah totally, I decided to hold it until today. [Plus it's freaking cold outside, so I had some time on my hands.]
I know I'm probably not the only one, but I don't like this time of year. I'm not sure why I dislike this time of year so much. Heck, I don't even know when I started disliking it so, because at one time I actually remember enjoying it, plus Edie loves this time of year.
It might have started when I was diagnosed with MCL, or maybe it started when one of my close riding buddies, who helped start our bike club [which has now gone its separate way], died of pancreatic cancer a couple of years before my diagnosis with MCL.
A big part of it has to do with the fact there is so little daylight this time of year, and it's so freakin' cold outside, even in southern Califonia. Note today's temperature at the airport. (That means it's 2°F colder at the house.) There is just no way I can justify getting dressed and going for a bike ride outside, and I'm not happy about that. [Hopefully I can muster enough enthusiasm to go to a spinning class later.]
But most likely it's because it isn't a joyous time of year for everyone.
Last Saturday morning, one of the ACOR Mantle Cell Listserve members died of pneumonia, after experiencing a shivery feeling the previous Thursday night, while out to dinner with his family celebrating his 55th birthday.
Now I never met Ian. I only knew him through the listserve, but that didn't change anything. I still felt as though I had lost something.
Here was a man who was 5 years younger than me, diagnosed with MCL [I've estimated] 2 years after me, and was 17 months post allogeneic transplant, and seemingly doing well. He even posted to the listserve as recently as December 7, offering support to another member of our exclusive group.
Life plays such cruel tricks on us. No one is given any special dispensation this time of year, and it really goes to show just how vulnerable we all are.
Oh well, I guess I really should be focusing on how fortunate Edie and I are right now, and be taking more to heart what Brenda said to Nate during an episode of Six Feet Under
but some things really are easier said than done.
BTW, Edie and I had an enjoyable Christmas/Chanukah dinner with family last night. So it wasn't all bad! Hopefully most everyone else did as well.
I know I'm probably not the only one, but I don't like this time of year. I'm not sure why I dislike this time of year so much. Heck, I don't even know when I started disliking it so, because at one time I actually remember enjoying it, plus Edie loves this time of year.
It might have started when I was diagnosed with MCL, or maybe it started when one of my close riding buddies, who helped start our bike club [which has now gone its separate way], died of pancreatic cancer a couple of years before my diagnosis with MCL.
A big part of it has to do with the fact there is so little daylight this time of year, and it's so freakin' cold outside, even in southern Califonia. Note today's temperature at the airport. (That means it's 2°F colder at the house.) There is just no way I can justify getting dressed and going for a bike ride outside, and I'm not happy about that. [Hopefully I can muster enough enthusiasm to go to a spinning class later.]But most likely it's because it isn't a joyous time of year for everyone.
Last Saturday morning, one of the ACOR Mantle Cell Listserve members died of pneumonia, after experiencing a shivery feeling the previous Thursday night, while out to dinner with his family celebrating his 55th birthday.
Now I never met Ian. I only knew him through the listserve, but that didn't change anything. I still felt as though I had lost something.
Here was a man who was 5 years younger than me, diagnosed with MCL [I've estimated] 2 years after me, and was 17 months post allogeneic transplant, and seemingly doing well. He even posted to the listserve as recently as December 7, offering support to another member of our exclusive group.
Life plays such cruel tricks on us. No one is given any special dispensation this time of year, and it really goes to show just how vulnerable we all are.
Oh well, I guess I really should be focusing on how fortunate Edie and I are right now, and be taking more to heart what Brenda said to Nate during an episode of Six Feet Under
the future is just a concept we use to avoid living today,
but some things really are easier said than done.
BTW, Edie and I had an enjoyable Christmas/Chanukah dinner with family last night. So it wasn't all bad! Hopefully most everyone else did as well.
Comments
People die all year long, it just feels worse when it happens at the "happiest" time of the year and it sucks because those who have lost someone at this time of year always remember it.
Like my mother, who has lost two generations of women on Christmas Eve. A mother and a grandmother. Personally, I intend on breaking this depressing tradition.
But those that go before us, don't want us to mourn their deaths, they want us to celebrate their life.
But you already knew that.
But I suspect it likely is true.
Glad you had an enjoyable dinner, and Jacob enjoyed the turkey.
Good to see you guys.
Mark