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Happy birthday to me

Well if you haven't figured it out by the title, today is my birthday, and I'm 59 years old.

WOW! It's almost hard to believe, considering just over 5 years ago, I was having doubts that I would ever get to be 55, let alone 59.

Back then, I said if I could get 5 good years, I would be happy, but now that I got those 5 good years, I'm not at all happy. Nothing has changed. I still have MCL, and I now I want another 5 good years.

It's just so hard, knowing you have a terminal illness, and trying to live life as though you didn't. It's so hard to get up every morning, put on that happy face, go to work, play golf, ride my bike, or do any other myriad of things, as if nothing was wrong, all the time knowing the disease could hit me anytime.

But it's also hard not knowing when it seems everything is more difficult to accomplish, or you have to take a nap after doing all those things you love, whether it's the disease that is gathering strength, depression from dealing with the constant cloud over you, or, as this day reminds me, I'm just getting older.

It's plenty hard enough just dealing with my MCL, I sure don't need no stinkin' birthday to remind I'm getting older.

Of course gifts can go a long way to relieving some of those anxieties. :)
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Comments

Mike Foxworth said…
Marc,

Happy birthday from a fellow gemini who arrived at the "magical" 59 a couple of weeks ago.

Don't give up counting or expecting more years added to your longevity. What science, medicine, faith and hope can bring, we never know, but the prospects are better than they ever have been for you and me and our fellow MCL voyagers.
4:28 AM
Becky said…
Happy birthday and cheer up you cranky old fart.
4:11 PM
John Wagner said…
Happy Belated Birthday wishes to you.

"But it’s also hard not knowing..." This paragraph expressed my thoughts and feelings exactly. I still wonder which it is.
2:05 PM
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