LIVING WITH MCL

It seems based on recent discussions on the MCL message board, and a review of my first post on fatigue , I may have led some people to interpret I believe fatigue to be psychological. So let me set the record straight. FATIGUE IS NOT PSYCHOLOGICAL! There are many factors which can contribute to the feelings of fatigue, which are psychological, e.g. depression from having a terminal illness, but that doesn't mean fatigue isn't real. It is real. I know, because I experience fatigue every day. I just try not to wallow in such feelings, and rather attempt to do something about it. There is no doubt in my mind that as we get older our bodies don't respond as they did in the past. There is also no doubt that cancer patients, who have undergone chemo and/or a transplant, have had

Well, there may be a few out there who will revel in the knowledge I may have been struck with some bad karma, as the result of my recent post on fatigue , and my last 3 posts on the MCL message board, regarding fatigue, and the US health care system. I didn't really think the comments were inappropriate, my only intention being to try and get everyone to learn and think on their own, without relying so much on others, but yesterday, when I was driving to work, I hit a [BIG] rock (ironically near the Big Rock) on PCH, a few miles north of Zuma Beach (it was dark, and I had just come around a bend in the road), which I just learned today, resulted in a cracked transmission which will require a new or rebuilt replacement. My only consolation is it's an 11 year old car with 230,000 miles, and since I do have an extra car, I don't have to spend the money to fix it. Plus, when I bought the car, I said when the Camry dies, I'm going to retire. So does a broken transmission co

Every year it's the same thing. American Express debits my Starwood Preferred Guest card for a $45 membership fee, I call them to get a good will credit, and every year they tell me the same thing. I'm sorry we can't issue you a credit. Then I talk to a few other people, write an email, and with the exception of last year, I have always been able to obtain a credit for the membership. Last year, if you remember , was different. No matter what I did, I couldn't get any satisfaction from anyone, and I ended up cancelling the card. Of course about a week after doing that, someone at American Express, who does have the authority to give me the credit, called, and not only gave me the credit, but gave me an extra $50 to boot . So I agreed to use the card again. She also gave me her name and number to call, should this happen again. Unfortunately I lost her number, but did remember her name, so I thought I would still be able to get in touch with her, and solve my problem. Bu

It may even rival March 26, 2002, the day of the fateful blood test which led to my diagnosis of MCL. Not only was it one of the hottest days of the year, maybe even one of the hottest since I've been in California, but my check out dive, for our upcoming trip to Grand Turk, went horribly. This probably wasn't the best day to be donning a 7 mm wetsuit, strapping 60 pounds of weights and tank to my back and then traipsing 100 yards to the ocean, but I needed to check out my gear, to make sure everything was working properly, before going on vacation. So my buddy drove down from Glendora to pick me up first thing in the morning, and we headed out to Corona Del Mar. We decided against Shaw's Cove in Laguna Beach, our first choice, because the thought of adding 100 stairs (50 down and 50 back up), was going to be more than we wanted to endure, considering the hot weather, simply to go for a check out dive. Things didn't start out badly either. We didn't have to pay for

Went to a wine tasting today, which is of little note, except for the fact I met someone I hadn't seen in at least 20 years, and was so surprised, I had to blog about it. For those of you who don't know Alex, or may have just forgotten (it has been 20 years), Alex was one of the charter members of Lightning Velo, the bike club I used to ride with, and is most remembered for the encounter we had with an old man driving his car on PCH. It seems this driver didn't like the way we were riding, so he decided to cut in front of us, and stop, causing Alex to run into him. No one was hurt, but this guy decided he was going to teach us a lesson, and proceeded to try and get out of his car. Now Alex, at 24 years of age was a pretty buffed guy, who was also a boxer, and not someone I would ever want to meet in a dark alley, so why this old man (at least 60 years old) wanted to get out of his car, and mix it up with about 8 pretty pissed off cyclists was beyond me. So Alex, without muc

That's the cyclist's mantra. Well, at least that's what I tell myself when I encounter a particularly strong head wind. And such was the case today, as I headed out the door at 6:45 AM for my usual Wednesday morning bike ride. The wind was already starting to kick up, which is not typical for that time of the morning, so I knew it was going to be tough, but I thought about the cyclist's mantra, and headed out anywaze. It's easy to say I'm glad I went now that I'm home comfortably resting in front of the TV, but that's not how I was feeling as I was riding home into that wind. The only saving grace was there were 7 of us who decided to turn around at the Huntington Beach pier (10 miles short of our original destination of Corona Del Mar), to face those gale force winds. (Ok, so I exaggerate a little.) Two of the riders dropped off shortly after we turned around, but I managed to hang on to the remaining four all the way through Bolsa Chica. I didn't d

I'm sure I pissed off a few people on the MCL message board today with my comments about fatigue, and I'll probably piss a few more people off with this latest post, but I can't help myself. I actually enjoy sparking controversy sometimes, it helps get the juices flowing, not to mention fatigue is one of my favorite topics, second only maybe to discussions on the US health care system, or lack there of. There seems to be constant discussion about fatigue on all the message boards, not just the MCL board, but it all boils down to lymphoma survivors claiming bouts of fatigue, after chemo, a transplant, or just from having lymphoma, without any logical explanation, e.g. low hemoglobin (around 10 g/dl), EBV , CFIDS , all which can be checked for. I have to admit I am of the opinion of most of the doctors, who have little sympathy for these patients, that fatigue in the absence of a low hemoglobin etc. is mostly psychological. Certainly there is the fatigue associated with recei

Besides my boss, and a select few others, I don't make it a habit of telling anyone I have lymphoma. There are a few, who for various reasons, have asked about me, and I've relented, telling them as well, and then there are those that have stumbled upon my blog, but I have always believed those numbers to be very small. So it's always a surprise when I discover someone, who I least suspect, is aware I have lymphoma, and it's even more surprising when that person is someone I've just met for the first time. Todays bike ride presented just such an instance. With the help of a fortuitous traffic light, 6 of us had broken away from the main pack, and managed to stay away for a good time. I could have stayed away for the remainder of the ride, had I been willing to push myself a little more, but one of the other riders dropped off (there were only 3 of us remaining at the time), so I decided to drop off with him. I hadn't known the rider, so being the nice guy I am,

You know for an anemic 60 (soon to be 61) year old, I think I'm in pretty decent shape. But even knowing that doesn't change the reality, that I ride with a number of riders (at least 3) who are older than me, and in at least one case, considerably stronger. So when I saw my buddy Gerry (the one older and stronger, and also a cancer survivor) this morning, along with a few other even stronger and younger riders, I knew immediately today was not a day to do the club ride. (Read Gerry's comment on my last post , and you'll understand even better why.) I knew it was going to be [very] fast, and after yesterdays hard hammer zone ride, I knew my legs were just not going to be up to it. I've also never forgotten what Dirty Harry said in Magnum Force , A man's got to know his limitations! and if there's one thing I know, it's my limitations. I still ended up doing a pretty hard ride with two of my other buddies up Spyglass, and the back side of Newport Coast, b